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DUMP THREAD v.8: NEW BOARD

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@DeVito52 for your bday I am giving you dating advice.
1. Propose to her-show that you're a fan of commitment
2. Give her an ultimatum. This works especially well if it's a blind date.
3. Do nothing except talk about your exes. She won't hate it.
4. Pull out a condom in the middle of dinner. Let her know your intentions immediately.
5. Challenge her father to trial by combat if he does not approve of you.

I hope this helps you.
 
@DeVito52 for your bday I am giving you dating advice.
1. Propose to her-show that you're a fan of commitment
2. Give her an ultimatum. This works especially well if it's a blind date.
3. Do nothing except talk about your exes. She won't hate it.
4. Pull out a condom in the middle of dinner. Let her know your intentions immediately.
5. Challenge her father to trial by combat if he does not approve of you.

I hope this helps you.
Hahaha I needed this thank you
 
Hahaha I needed this thank you
More advice
1. Call her Daddy. It's 2018. Change it up
2. Just pour all your emotional baggage out. Won't scare her out.
3. If she tells you that she wants to be punched in the face during sex, do it. Totally not a lawsuit waiting to happen.
4. It's okay to run away from her and then call her back
5. Just because there's a goalie doesn't mean you can't score. @OriolesMagicPlease
6. Ask for an open relationship
7. Play mind games with her. She's going to do that with you anyways, so why not.
8. If you are going to wear a sword, wear it on the opposite side of the dominant hand, so when she challenges you to a pirate duel you can immediately defend yourself.
 
Okay, so long story short, I was in an emotionally absuive relationship with some crazy girl I thought I could save. One night we were fooling around and she took me by the arm and literally bit me. So I pushed her off of me and told her to never come near me again. Yes, I pushed her awa, but I was bleeding from the bite mark(it was not a sexy bite). Next day, police show up at my door and come into question me... When they saw the bite marks they decided to leave me alone and she tried to pursue legal action, and she backed off knowing she had no chance against me because I could have pressed charges myself. It wasn't really a serious thing, more along the lines of a rebound for me. But yeah, she was crazy.
Damn, was she planning to be a vampire for Halloween? If it wouldn’t be for bad luck, you would have no luck at all. You need to get rid of that bad juju ASAP! I will say a prayer for you!
 
On this day 21 years ago a legend was born. Eminem.

I was also born on this day. But I’m a good for nothing sorry sack of garbage. It is what it is

Oh happy belated birthday! I have a present for you.
 
More advice
1. Call her Daddy. It's 2018. Change it up
2. Just pour all your emotional baggage out. Won't scare her out.
3. If she tells you that she wants to be punched in the face during sex, do it. Totally not a lawsuit waiting to happen.
4. It's okay to run away from her and then call her back
5. Just because there's a goalie doesn't mean you can't score. @OriolesMagicPlease
6. Ask for an open relationship
7. Play mind games with her. She's going to do that with you anyways, so why not.
8. If you are going to wear a sword, wear it on the opposite side of the dominant hand, so when she challenges you to a pirate duel you can immediately defend yourself.

Looky who is giving out love life advice! Although I must admit that I do find number 8 very useful and will remember that.
 
No not belated, it’s today lol. Thanks! And what’s my present?

Even better! I hope you have a fantastic day filled with lots of attractive women running towards you for a change.

You will find out when you open it. I still have to wrap it.
 
She told me not to spoil the surprise but it's a blow up doll. So you can finally have someone to hold at night.
tenor.gif
 
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