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DUMP THREAD v.8: NEW BOARD

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I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon, sue me. And since I don't have a butler, I have to do it myself. So, most nights before I go to bed, I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman Grill. Then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill, I go back to sleep again. Then I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon. It is delicious, it's good for me. It's the perfect way to start the day. Today I got up, I stepped onto the grill and it clamped down on my foot... that's it. I don't see what's so hard to believe about that.
 
Lost_In_Translation said:
I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon, sue me. And since I don't have a butler, I have to do it myself. So, most nights before I go to bed, I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman Grill. Then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill, I go back to sleep again. Then I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon. It is delicious, it's good for me. It's the perfect way to start the day. Today I got up, I stepped onto the grill and it clamped down on my foot... that's it. I don't see what's so hard to believe about that.
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Lmao I thought this was a serious thought until I got to the 2nd sentence and I realized its just Michael Scott
 
Oops. I accidentally called my mother instead of some long winded social media post. We all know the only real course of action here is an Instagram post.
Worst son ever. Oh well
 
Dom McRaven said:
Do you REALLY enjoy implying that you're some piece of shit? Because you're not! Where's @OriolesMagicPlease when you need her? Come get your man!
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More of a joke. My social media presence is more or less nonexistent. I’m very old fashioned in that regard. But all the kids abroad didn’t call their moms and gave me shit for not posting it on social media.

Sorry. My mom deserves better than a Facebook post lmao. Rather call
 
Lost_In_Translation said:
More of a joke. My social media presence is more or less nonexistent. I’m very old fashioned in that regard. But all the kids abroad didn’t call their moms and gave me shit for not posting it on social media.

Sorry. My mom deserves better than a Facebook post lmao. Rather call
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maybe some of them were fucking you around because it wasnt their mothers day?
the whole facebook post thing does seem very weird to me too
 
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