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DUMP THREAD v.8: NEW BOARD

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Don’t ever for any reason do anything to anyone for any reason ever no matter what. No matter where or who or who you are with or where you are going or where you’ve been. Ever. For any reason whatsoever
 
So my roommates brought back a bottle of Chianti and we split it between the four of us. We all had a glass. I'm fine, studying for an exam....

They're all trashed...... And now they are all on their second glass.....


I need new roommates.
 
I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon, sue me. And since I don't have a butler, I have to do it myself. So, most nights before I go to bed, I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman Grill. Then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill, I go back to sleep again. Then I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon. It is delicious, it's good for me. It's the perfect way to start the day. Today I got up, I stepped onto the grill and it clamped down on my foot... that's it. I don't see what's so hard to believe about that.
 
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